A Hard Day in Mommyland

Granted, I really don't have much to whine about, but I'm going to indulge myself in a little complaining nonetheless.

It's been a hard day in Mommyland. Fai, the fearless provider, left early and is working late, which means, in an hour or two, I and the little ones will be tracking it on 95 into Alexandria, so none of us will get to bed earlier than 1 am. (except, of course, the little ones who will sleep in their car seats and be up all the earlier tomorrow) Nadira was up at 1:30 this morning, then both Anjali and Nadira were up at 7am. 7am is early to me. We were out running errands all morning. I signed Anjali up for preschool (she'll be going three days a week starting in Sept) which she is super excited for, then I had to do the grocery shopping and get gas. By the way, grocery shopping today meant going to four different stores. Yep. Two kids, two car seats, four stores. PLUS when Anjali was sick and I washed her carseat, I put the two seat belt halves in backwards, which means to get it in you have to twist the bottom buckle around backwards, and it's next to impossible to unhook. So I hurt my thumb fighting with the silly buckle.

The highlight of my day was the optimism I had-Faiyaz said he'd be home early, and cook dinner. So exciting. I defrosted the chicken as asked, and bought the eggplant. One big thing I didn't have to worry about. And at 8:15 (I thought Fai would be home by 8 at the latest) I called, and found out that he would be working extra late, and here I am with no dinner for him tonight or lunch tomorrow (he always gets left overs for lunch) Granted, not a big deal, but Fai just started a diet, and was doing super well on it, and now who knows what he'll have for lunch? He's fine with this situation, but I'm stressed for him, does that make any sense?

And the true annoyance? Lack of writing time. Anjali and Nadira sense when I'm really into writing, and that's when crisis strikes! ARRRRGH! I feel like I'm being selfish, I know in a few years (longer, depending on how many more kids we have) finding time to write won't be so hard, but I want to write now! I'm in the middle of a project I'm really enjoying writing, it's a light YA piece, nothing important, but it's fun, and I want to work on it! I truely am trying to keep this in perspective. And I do appreciate the stress and preassure of Fai's job. (that's another rant all together) This has nothing to do with him. This is me, trying to remember to be happy in the season I'm in. It's short, I know it is. I got some perspective tonight after I gave Nadira her bath, and I held her close and smelled her clean hair. Nice, very nice. I truly thought the all-day me alone thing would end with Fai graduating and getting this job. Everyone at the USPTO says the first few years are tough, and it is a good, stable job with good benefits and good pay. I see the benefits, I appreciate the demands of a new career, but it feels like it's always going to be 'a few more years' of toughing things out. I'm tired of us toughing it out, I want us to just live and enjoy! I want Fai home at 6, the kids in bed at 8, and the weekends to be stress-free. And I want three hours to write, everyday. Sigh!

I'm going to go cuddle a baby, then I'll feel better.