Seasons

Right now I am struggling with this pregnancy. I've lost the pound that I gained, so once again I weigh 7 pounds less than before I got pregnant. I'm 27 weeks, 13 more to go. I don't know how I'm going to handle another three months of this. I'm tired, light headed, and constantly sick. I feel unable to care for my home or my daughter, and I'm worried about this baby. At my last dr. apt, the doctor (a man, and we all know how I don't like male doctors) wasn't worried at all. I'm going back on Friday, and I'm hoping when they see the scale they'll be a little concerned. The expensive medicine I'm taking doesn't seem to help at all. Three more months? Seriously?

I've be looking at my life a lot, all the things I'm trying to juggle while throwing up, all the things I want to do, and I'm remembering something I started telling myself in high school, and that's to just be happy in the season you're in. Sometimes we get so caught up with all the things we want out of life we're always focused on the future and not the present. While being sick is not fun, this is the last three months Anjali will be an only child. Hopefully it's the end of the potty training. It's the end of summer, soon it's going to start getting cold. I don't like the cold. It's the end of a novel, my editing will be done soon. It's that quit time before the rejection letters start coming in. It's my last few months before the newborn period, when you're drowning in exhaustion. It won't be long before Anjali goes to preschool. This is my season. Our lives may not seem long, but we all go through so many periods of change in them, it's hard to remember that each moment is transient. Being in high school, being single, being a parent of young children, we all try to rush through these times, especially when they seem hard or tedious, but each hold precious moments that once they pass we can never reclaim. There's a certain charm to being a broke student, and looking back things seemed simpler. A few night ago I was remember when Fai and I just got married, and it was just us in that little apartment. So strange, I can barely remember life without Anjali and the animals, I can't remember what we use to do with our time together. I remember movies and the mall, going to dinner, etc, but it seems foreign. I think I prefer the playground, the walks in the park, pizza night with "princess movie" But this too shall pass, Anjali and this new one will be going to school, making friends, growing up. It all seems too short, but I guess it's what keeps life interesting.