Truthfullness

I told myself while I still worked in childcare that I would always be truthful with my children. No cute nick-names for body parts, where babies really come from, etc. Not that I've explained sex to Anjali, but she does know that Mommy's and Daddy's love made Nadira, that she grew in Mommy's belly until she was ready to come out, and she knows how she came out. A bit much for an almost-three year old, huh?

so Tuesday, when Anjali was super sick, and we took her to the Dr, and the Dr wanted to have labs done on her, I told her truthfully what would happen. Then, later, when we got the phone call to take her to the ER for fluids, I again told her truthfully what would happen at the hospital. Wow. Poor baby. She was so upset, and when they were putting the needle in, she kept crying "please! please! don't hurt me! please!" Talk about breaking your heart!

Then they taped it down, and Anjali laid in bed, looking at her hand. Slowly she stopped crying. Moments after that, she seemed better, and started chatting happily and telling us about the 'water' going through the IV into her hand.

Maybe I shouldn't have told her what would happen at the lab, or at the ER. Maybe the build-up and the tears in the waiting room could have been avoided. At the ER waiting room she kept saying over and over again that she wanted to go home.

The plus side of this truthfulness is that while we were in the ER and she was getting fluids, Fai and I, feeling extremely guilty, promised to get her a present, that she could pick it out. And she remembered. And so, at three am, we were at Walmart, in the toy section, and despite mixed feeling on my part, Anjali got her very first Barbie doll. Yep, we've entered the world of Barbie. And because we felt very, very, very guilty, she now has a total of three Barbies and one Ken. One of the Barbies is a Pediatrician, so that's kinda cool. They had an Astruanaught Barbie and a President Barbie, but she wasn't interested in those.

The next day, after the ER, we went to check out a Preschool near our house for her. As we got out of the car, and Anjali looked at the unfamiliar building, she asked, "Will they hurt me?" and so I explained where we were, what we were doing, and that no one here would hurt her. She immediately felt secure, and held my hand as we walked up to the school. I don't think it would have been that easy if she didn't have confidence that I would be truthful with her. It's a tough one, do we sugar coat the world for our kids, or do we tell them the truth even when it's a little scary? I'm going to keep being truthful, even though it means that when we're in the grocery store and someone stops to admire Nadira, Anjali will proudly explain how she grew in Mommy's belly, and came out of her 'gina. (thank goodness most people don't know that means 'vagina'!)