Thankfulness

Alright, this post is a cliche, I'm warning you now. But I was thinking about this today.

Today I wasted three hours, three hours I needed for laundry, nesting, and getting the house ready for my in-laws who are coming Wednesday night. Yesterday before church we noticed a nail in the tire of my car. We were running late, and the tire wasn't low, so we just drove on it. Fai said he'd figure out how to patch it since we're tight on cash right now, but today he called from work and asked me to take the car to the shop and have them do it. So I bundled myself and Anjali up and went to the shop, thinking this would take an hour or less. Unfortunately, everyone seems to be getting ready for holiday travel, so they told me it would be a half hour before they could look at it. Irritated, I gave them my key and my cell phone number, and walked over to the mall with Anjali to kill some time. It was 45 minutes later that I got a call asking me where the nail was exactly, and almost an hour after that that I got the call that they were done with my call. By that point, I had bought Anjali lunch from McDonald's because she was starving, even though I didn't want to feed her junk today or spend money on junk, and we were both tired and irritated. So we started walking back to the car. On the way out of the mall, we passed a Thanksgiving window display. In it were the typical window decorations that go with this holiday, turkeys and pilgrims and such. Pilgrims with chubby, rosy cheeks.

Being in a bad mood, I started thinking about what pilgrims would have looked like at that first feast. They would have been a pretty skinny, sorry looking lot, getting over near-starvation and disease. Most likely yellow and sickly looking. Still mourning dead husbands, wives, and children. Probably really homesick, and questioning their own sanity in leaving England in the first place. What were they so thankful for, really?

And then the cynical thoughts left me briefly. They were alive. They were together. For the moment, they had food, and in all honesty things could only get better.

Right now things look pretty rough all over. Last night Fai and I were talking about how the prices in stores would be dropping soon since people are only buying essentials, and how this drop in prices would eventually lead to the end of jobs. We talked about the fall in gas prices, speculating how long it would last, if it would last as long as this economic depression. We talked about our cars, the problems both of them are having, wondering how much longer we could make them last.

So this afternoon, as I walked through the cold parking lot outside the mall towards the auto shop to get my car, I thought about those things again, about this past year and the hard spot we're going through now. I thought about last Christmas, when I was pregnant and Fai found out that he got the job, and 2008 looked bright and sparkling and full of promise. He was graduating, we were moving, he had a good job, and in August we'd have a new baby. I remember writing in my journal about it, I remember all the optimism I felt. It would be a great year.

Then I had the miscarriage, the house in Tallahassee still hasn't sold, and here we are. And yes, I am about to have a beautiful new baby, yet I still wonder about that one. You know. Emotionally, physically, financially, it's been a really rough year.

And so, with the pilgrims, I found myself thinking, we're alive, we're together, we have food, and in all honesty things will/can only get better. And then I started thinking of all the other things I'm grateful for. Here's a list:

A strong, independent, smart daughter who is filled with energy, life, and self-confidence.

A healthy baby about to be born.

A husband who works hard and enjoys his family. The confidence I have in him and his role as a father.

A comfortable home with good neighbors.

The daily chaos that comes with animals and a toddler. All of that messy, wonderful chaos that keeps me busy but entertained.

Good friends. Even though far distanced, it's amazing what an e-mail or a phone call can do on a busy hectic day.

A bright future. We are where we are. Our economy fluctuates, there are highs and lows. This too shall pass.

There are a lot of other things too, but those are the highlights that came to mind as I walked with Anjali back to the shop. When I got there, it turned out that after they got the nail out and checked the tire for an air leak, there wasn't one, so they didn't charge me. I still wasted three precious hours, but I'll just have to play catch-up tomorrow.

What are you guys thankful for this year?